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Short jokes - funny one liners (10201 to 10240)

Short jokes - funny one liners (10201 to 10240)

Short funny jokes. These jokes are less 300 chars long, so easy to remember! These are the jokes listed 10201 to 10240.

Lone Ranger

Tonto and the Lone Ranger had a falling out... because the Lone Ranger discovered that "Kimosabee" actually means... "asshole!"

Submitted by Curtis

Edited by Yisman

#joke #short
Joke | Source: Jokes of the day - Taken from Bartender's guide to Jokes, Drinks, and Poker - once good site, no longer active.
  • Currently 3.98/10

Rating: 4.0/10 (48)

Winter smells

What did one snowman say to the other snowman?

snowman

"Smells like carrots."

#joke #short #food #carrot
Joke | Source: Jokes of the Day - Originally taken from site that work no more - Get Frank - NZ's Online Men's Lifestyle Magazine for Fashion, Health, Lifestyle, Recreation Articles & Reviews, Funny jokes and photos updated daily
  • Currently 2.60/10

Rating: 2.6/10 (10)

Cristela Alonzo: Strippers in Med School

I meet a lot of strippers, and they always say the same thing: Im paying my way through medical school. Now, if thats the truth, why is that you never meet a doctor that used to be a stripper? Youd think theyd be everywhere.
Joke | Source: Comedy Central: Jokes - Jokes provided daily from Comedy Central's archive.
  • Currently 5.72/10

Rating: 5.7/10 (46)

Pipe Organ

A local church built a new sanctuary. They moved their very

fine old pipe organ from to the new sanctuary. It was an

intricate task that was completed successfully.

The local news heralded . . . "St. Paul Completes Organ

Transplant."

#joke #short
Joke | Source: Jokes of the day - Taken from Bartender's guide to Jokes, Drinks, and Poker - once good site, no longer active.
  • Currently 4.49/10

Rating: 4.5/10 (35)

Which bus...

A drunken man gets on the bus late one night, staggers up the aisle, and sits next to an elderly woman.

She looks the man up and down and says, I've got news for you. "You're going straight to hell!"

The man jumps up out of his seat and shouts, "Shoot, I'm on the wrong bus!"

#joke #short
Joke | Source: Jokes - Used to be - Pacific products joke of the day, but site no longer works.
  • Currently 4.13/10

Rating: 4.1/10 (8)

Bumper Stickers in Heaven

Honk if you ARE Jesus
Ask Me About My Previous Lives
I Brake For Celestial Choirs
I Died and Went To Heaven and All I Got Was This Lousy Halo

#joke #short
Joke | Source: Belief net - Joke of the day, features on religion, spirituality, faith
  • Currently 2.88/10

Rating: 2.9/10 (26)

Curious George

One day the zookeeper noticed that the monkey was reading two books--the Bible and Darwin's "The Origin of Species."
In surprise, he asked the monkey, "Why are you reading both those books?"
"Well," said the monkey, "I just wanted to know if I was my brother's keeper or my keeper's brother."

#joke #short #animal #monkey
Joke | Source: Belief net - Joke of the day, features on religion, spirituality, faith
  • Currently 2.00/10

Rating: 2.0/10 (13)

Funny Aviation joke-Three best things

Ask any pilot and he will agree that the three best things in life are a fine landing, a fine orgasm, and a fine bowel movement.
A night aircraft landing is a chance to experience all three together.
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Really Funny Jokes - Really Funny jokes, adult jokes, Good jokes, short funny jokes, teacher jokes, affair jokes, kids jokes, doctor jokes, funny pictures
  • Currently 3.30/10

Rating: 3.3/10 (10)

Mathematical solution

Did you hear about the constipated mathematician?

Math Class

He worked it out with a pencil.

#joke #short
Joke | Source: Jokes of the Day - Originally taken from site that work no more - Get Frank - NZ's Online Men's Lifestyle Magazine for Fashion, Health, Lifestyle, Recreation Articles & Reviews, Funny jokes and photos updated daily
  • Currently 4.46/10

Rating: 4.5/10 (13)

A stolen credit card

A man said his credit card was stolen but he decided not to report it because the thief was spending less than his wife did.

#joke #short
Joke | Source: Jokes of the day - Taken from Bartender's guide to Jokes, Drinks, and Poker - once good site, no longer active.
  • Currently 3.31/10

Rating: 3.3/10 (16)

Putt...

A teacher was taking her first golf lesson.

"Is the word spelled 'put' or 'putt'?" she asked the instructor.

"'Putt' is correct," he replied.

"'Put' means to place a thing where you want it. 'Putt' means a klutzy but unsuccessful attempt to do the same thing."

#joke #short #sport #golf
Joke | Source: Jokes - Used to be - Pacific products joke of the day, but site no longer works.
  • Currently 3.23/10

Rating: 3.2/10 (13)

Chuck Norris can take an arrow...

Chuck Norris can take an arrow in the knee.
Joke | Source: Daily Chuck - Daily Chuck Norris Fact
  • Currently 2.24/10

Rating: 2.2/10 (84)

Flintstones Restricted

The people of Dubai don't get to watch the Flintstones

Meet the Flinstones

But the people of Abu Dhabi Do

#joke #short
Joke | Source: Jokes of the Day - Originally taken from site that work no more - Get Frank - NZ's Online Men's Lifestyle Magazine for Fashion, Health, Lifestyle, Recreation Articles & Reviews, Funny jokes and photos updated daily
  • Currently 3.60/10

Rating: 3.6/10 (10)

Rory Scovel: Stealing Old People

You guys ever steal an old person? Oh, I guess everyone here has their grandparents; some of us dont we got to replace ours. Heres a tip: old people in wheelchairs rarely turn around to see whos pushing them.
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Comedy Central: Jokes - Jokes provided daily from Comedy Central's archive.
  • Currently 3.07/10

Rating: 3.1/10 (14)

A bachelor asked the computer ...

A bachelor asked the computer to find him the perfect mate: "I want a companion who is small and cute, loves water sports, and enjoys group activities."

Back came the answer: "Marry a penguin."


#joke #short #animal #penguin #sport
Joke | Source: MHINTZ0929's Blog - New funny joke each day
  • Currently 2.62/10

Rating: 2.6/10 (13)

Mike DeStefano: Saw You on TV

Nowadays people come up to me and say, Mike, I saw you on television. And when I was on drugs people would say, Hey Mike, did you take my television?
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Comedy Central: Jokes - Jokes provided daily from Comedy Central's archive.
  • Currently 4.79/10

Rating: 4.8/10 (14)

Chuck Norris doesn't step on t...

Chuck Norris doesn't step on toes. Chuck Norris steps on necks.
Joke | Source: Daily Chuck - Daily Chuck Norris Fact
  • Currently 3.56/10

Rating: 3.6/10 (18)

Blind Skydivers

Why don't blind people skydive more often?

It scares the shit out of their dogs.

How does a blind skydiver know the ground is near?

Skydiver

The leash goes slack

Joke | Source: Jokes of the Day - Originally taken from site that work no more - Get Frank - NZ's Online Men's Lifestyle Magazine for Fashion, Health, Lifestyle, Recreation Articles & Reviews, Funny jokes and photos updated daily
  • Currently 3.17/10

Rating: 3.2/10 (12)

Ben Kronberg: Coffee and Women

I like my coffee like I like my women -- sent back for not being hot enough.
#joke #short #drinks #coffee
Joke | Source: Comedy Central: Jokes - Jokes provided daily from Comedy Central's archive.
  • Currently 4.39/10

Rating: 4.4/10 (18)

Google won't search for Chuck ...

Google won't search for Chuck Norris because it knows you don't find Chuck Norris, he finds you.
Joke | Source: Daily Chuck - Daily Chuck Norris Fact
  • Currently 3.50/10

Rating: 3.5/10 (18)

Clean jokes-Skin cream

Mike Sweeney goes to the pharmacy to buy an anti-infective skin cream. When the pharmacist gives him one, Mike reads the directions to use. It says : apply locally twice a day.
Mike says to the pharmacist: "But I can't apply locally, I'm going out of town."
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Really Funny Jokes - Really Funny jokes, adult jokes, Good jokes, short funny jokes, teacher jokes, affair jokes, kids jokes, doctor jokes, funny pictures
  • Currently 2.78/10

Rating: 2.8/10 (9)

Company picnic...

A wife chewed out her husband at the company picnic a while back. "Doesn't it embarrass you that people have seen you go up to the buffet table five times?"

"Not a bit," the husband replied. "I just tell them I'm filling up the plate for you....!"

#joke #short
Joke | Source: Jokes - Used to be - Pacific products joke of the day, but site no longer works.
  • Currently 3.11/10

Rating: 3.1/10 (9)

When Chuck Norris goes to dona...

When Chuck Norris goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe, and instead requests a hand gun and a bucket.
Joke | Source: Daily Chuck - Daily Chuck Norris Fact
  • Currently 2.93/10

Rating: 2.9/10 (14)

Aviation jokes-Aircraft Identification

Aviation funnies
Tom teaching his friend Bob how to identify aircrafts:
If you find it ugly, it's British.
If you find it, it's French.
If you find it ugly and weird, it's Russian.
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Really Funny Jokes - Really Funny jokes, adult jokes, Good jokes, short funny jokes, teacher jokes, affair jokes, kids jokes, doctor jokes, funny pictures
  • Currently 2.60/10

Rating: 2.6/10 (10)

Animal jokes-Karate pig

Bitzer: What is the term for a pig that practices karate?
Shaun: A pork chop.
#joke #short #animal #pig #sport #karate
Joke | Source: Really Funny Jokes - Really Funny jokes, adult jokes, Good jokes, short funny jokes, teacher jokes, affair jokes, kids jokes, doctor jokes, funny pictures
  • Currently 2.67/10

Rating: 2.7/10 (12)

Did you hear about the cowboy ...

Did you hear about the cowboy who wore paper pants, a paper shirt, paper boots, and wore a paper hat?

The Sheriff arrested him for rustling.
Joke | Source: MHINTZ0929's Blog - New funny joke each day
  • Currently 3.25/10

Rating: 3.3/10 (12)

Sticky Hair?

Rabbit is hopping along the forest one day, when he comes upon Bear taking a dump.

Bear says, "Rabbit, do you have a problem with shit sticking to your fur?"

Rabbit replies, "No Bear, I don't. Why do you ask?"

So Bear grabs Rabbit and wipes his ass with him.

#joke #short #animal #rabbit #bear
Joke | Source: Jokes of the Day - Originally taken from site that work no more - Get Frank - NZ's Online Men's Lifestyle Magazine for Fashion, Health, Lifestyle, Recreation Articles & Reviews, Funny jokes and photos updated daily
  • Currently 4.15/10

Rating: 4.1/10 (48)

Short funny jokes-Judge to dentist

What did the judge say to the dentist?
"Pull my tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth."
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Really Funny Jokes - Really Funny jokes, adult jokes, Good jokes, short funny jokes, teacher jokes, affair jokes, kids jokes, doctor jokes, funny pictures
  • Currently 3.09/10

Rating: 3.1/10 (11)

Rory Scovel: Strip Club

Some friends wanted to go to a strip club. I said, No thanks, its not for me; I dont really enjoy doing it. They said, Well at this strip club you can touch the girls while they dance on you. And I said, Then lets go do that.
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Comedy Central: Jokes - Jokes provided daily from Comedy Central's archive.
  • Currently 3.19/10

Rating: 3.2/10 (86)

A schoolteacher asked her prim...

A schoolteacher asked her primary six class to construct sentences with the words: defeat, detail, defense.
There was a pause before a pupil raised his hand and said he could make a sentence with them; "The cow jumped over defense and detail went over defeat."
#joke #short #animal #cow
Joke | Source: A joke a day - Free Jokes of the Day Clean Funny Jokes via Email, Humor and Entertainment
  • Currently 3.45/10

Rating: 3.5/10 (11)

Chuck Norris beat Super Mario ...

Chuck Norris beat Super Mario Brothers from right to left.
Joke | Source: Daily Chuck - Daily Chuck Norris Fact
  • Currently 3.73/10

Rating: 3.7/10 (15)

A schoolteacher asked her prim...

A schoolteacher asked her primary six class to construct sentences with the words: defeat, detail, defense.

There was a pause before a pupil raised his hand and said he could make a sentence with them... "The cow jumped over defense and detail went over defeat."
#joke #short #animal #cow
Joke | Source: MHINTZ0929's Blog - New funny joke each day
  • Currently 4.15/10

Rating: 4.2/10 (13)

Michael Palascak: Buying an SUV

I wanted to buy a car that was really good for the environment but I also wanted to buy an SUV -- so I could see the environment before its destroyed by SUVs.
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Comedy Central: Jokes - Jokes provided daily from Comedy Central's archive.
  • Currently 3.80/10

Rating: 3.8/10 (15)

A couple of jokes about marriage...

A lady inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: 'Husband wanted'. Next day she received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: 'You can have mine.'

A little boy asked his father, 'Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?' And the father replied, 'I don't know son, I'm still paying.'

Joke | Source: Jokes - Used to be - Pacific products joke of the day, but site no longer works.
  • Currently 3.27/10

Rating: 3.3/10 (11)

Biblical Babysitter

Q. Who is the greatest babysitter mentioned in the Bible?
A. David. He rocked Goliath into a very deep sleep.

#joke #short
Joke | Source: Belief net - Joke of the day, features on religion, spirituality, faith
  • Currently 3.33/10

Rating: 3.3/10 (30)

- Daddy, daddy... Why is it th...

- Daddy, daddy... Why is it that everyone calls me stupid?
- I don't know kid; I am not your daddy.
#joke #short
Joke | Source: A joke a day - Free Jokes of the Day Clean Funny Jokes via Email, Humor and Entertainment
  • Currently 4.30/10

Rating: 4.3/10 (10)

Chuck Norris can blow bubbles ...

Chuck Norris can blow bubbles with beef jerky.
Joke | Source: Daily Chuck - Daily Chuck Norris Fact
  • Currently 3.44/10

Rating: 3.4/10 (18)

Taxi driver

Why did the taxi driver give up his job?

Because people kept talking behind his back.

Submitted by Calamjo

Edited by Curtis

#joke #short
Joke | Source: Jokes of the day - Taken from Bartender's guide to Jokes, Drinks, and Poker - once good site, no longer active.
  • Currently 3.73/10

Rating: 3.7/10 (11)

Chuck Norris was once charged ...

Chuck Norris was once charged with three attempted murders, but the Judge dropped the charges because Chuck Norris doesn't "attempt" murder.
Joke | Source: Daily Chuck - Daily Chuck Norris Fact
  • Currently 4.88/10

Rating: 4.9/10 (16)

Neal Brennan: Shut It Down

If you work in porn, I dont know if you and your coworkers know this, but we have enough porn. You dont have to keep making it. You did a great job, we appreciate your service, but you can shut it down.
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Comedy Central: Jokes - Jokes provided daily from Comedy Central's archive.
  • Currently 3.81/10

Rating: 3.8/10 (43)

Jokes Archive

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