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Short jokes - funny one liners (10281 to 10320)Short funny jokes. These jokes are less 300 chars long, so easy to remember! These are the jokes listed 10281 to 10320. |
Zach Galifianakis: Waking Up With an Erection
Guys, have you ever woken up with an erection, and then you realize youre just in a massage chair in a Brookstone?#joke #short
Old actors
Old actors never die, they just drop apart.#joke #short
Chemical formula for Ice
Teacher: What is the chemical formula for Water?Little Johnny: It's H2O
Teacher: Good! Can you tell me the chemical formula for ice?
Little Johnny: It's H2O cubed.
#joke #short
Natasha Leggero: Sex With a Prostitute
Bragging to me you had sex with a prostitute is like bragging that you got some chips from a vending machine.#joke #short
Two cows....
Two cows were chatting over the fence between their fields. The first cow said, "I tell you, this mad-cow-disease is really pretty scary. They say it is spreading fast; I heard it hit some cows down on the Johnson Farm."
The other cow replied, "Ah, I ain't worried, it won't affect us ducks."
Teacher jokes-Sleeping student
The teacher is droning away in the classroom when he notices a student sleeping way up in the back row. The teacher shouts to the sleeping student's neighbor, "Hey wake that student up!"
The neighbor yells back, "You put him to sleep, you wake him up!"
The neighbor yells back, "You put him to sleep, you wake him up!"
#joke #short
Clean jokes-Long distance
Laurel: Why was the crow perched on a telephone wire?Hardy: To take a nap?
Laurel: No, to make a long-distance caw.
#joke #short
Short funny jokes-Side effects
Jill asks the pharmacist: "Why does my prescribed medication have 30 side effects?"
The Pharmacist replies: "well, that's all we've documented so far."
The Pharmacist replies: "well, that's all we've documented so far."
#joke #short
Funny jokes-Inebriated judge
An inebriated judge returned to court after a long lunch. In the first case, a man is charged with drunk driving who pleaded not guilty. "I'm as sober as you are, your honor," the man claimed.
The judge said, "In that case, you are sentenced to 45 days."
The judge said, "In that case, you are sentenced to 45 days."
If you had 11 roses in your ar...
If you had 11 roses in your arms and looked in the mirror;You would see the twelve most gorgeous things in the world.
#joke #short
Demetri Martin: Employee of the Month
I think Employee of the Month is a good example of when a person can be a winner and a loser at the same time. #joke #short
Charles Manson
Charles Manson has released a statement from prison on hearing Jackson was acquitted, "Thank God we won't be in the same cell together, that guy is nuts."#joke #short
A man and his girlfriend were ...
A man and his girlfriend were out to dinner one night. The waiter tells them the night's special is chicken almondine and fresh fish."The chicken sounds good; I'll have that," the woman says.
The waiter nods. "And the vegetable?" he asks.
"Oh, he'll have the fish," she replies.
Chuck Norris doesn't worry abo...
Chuck Norris doesn't worry about changing his clock twice a year for daylight savings time. The sun rises and sets when Chuck tells it to.#joke #short #chuck-norris
Short funny jokes-Check ride
Two pilots are discussing their first check ride. One pilot says to the other - A check ride ought to be like a skirt: Short enough to be interesting, but long enough to cover everything.
#joke #short
A man at the airline counter t...
A man at the airline counter tells the rep. “I’d like this bag to go to Berlin, this one to California, and this one to London.The rep says, “I’m sorry sir. We can’t do that.”
The man replied: Nonsense. That is what you did last time I flew with you.
#joke #short
A man at the airline counter t...
A man at the airline counter tells the rep. Id like this bag to go to Berlin, this one to California, and this one to London.The rep says, Im sorry sir. We cant do that.
The man replied: "Nonsense. That is what you did last time I flew with you."
#joke #short
Kyle Kinane: Not a Hobby
At this age, its really not a hobby, its just a drinking problem now.#joke #short
Brett Favre can throw a footba...
Brett Favre can throw a football over 50 yards. Chuck Norris can throw Brett Favre even further.Sheng Wang: Man With a Comb Over
If you can show me a man with a comb over, I can show you a man who thinks that by crushing a bag of chips, you make more chips. #joke #short
Trivial Pursuit
A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night. When it was her turn, she rolled the dice and she landed on "Science & Nature".Her question was, "If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name, can you hear it?
She thought for some time and then asked, "Is it on or off?"
I drink a lot, on Thur...
I drink a lot, on Thursdays.#joke #short
I just learned how to fart. I&...
I just learned how to fart. I'm a do it your sulfur.#joke #short
Chuck Norris knows Victoria's ...
Chuck Norris knows Victoria's Secret.#joke #short #chuck-norris
Clean jokes-Bald eagle
Jack: How will you recognize a bald eagle?Jill: All his feathers will be combed over to one side.
#joke #short
My friend said he used to go t...
My friend said he used to go to strip clubs. He has fondle mammaries of that time.#joke #short
When ghosts go camping, they s...
When ghosts go camping, they sit around the fire and tell Chuck Norris stories.#joke #short #chuck-norris
Cosmonauts re...
Cosmonauts require massage.#joke #short
John Caparulo: Yard Sales on Memorial Day
Every year back in Ohio, we would have yard sales on Memorial Day weekend, so its like Mardi Gras for white trash. #joke #short
