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Short jokes - funny one liners (10761 to 10800)

Short jokes - funny one liners (10761 to 10800)

Short funny jokes. These jokes are less 300 chars long, so easy to remember! These are the jokes listed 10761 to 10800.

Chuck Norris can divide by zer...

Chuck Norris can divide by zero.
Joke | Source: Daily Chuck - Daily Chuck Norris Fact
  • Currently 2.52/10

Rating: 2.5/10 (67)

Teacher: Now, Sam, tell m...

Teacher: Now, Sam, tell me frankly do you say prayers before eating?

Sam: No sir, I don't have to, my mom is a good cook.
#joke #short #food #eating #mother #mom
Joke | Source: MHINTZ0929's Blog - New funny joke each day
  • Currently 5.60/10

Rating: 5.6/10 (5)

SLIDESHOW #45 - Funny Photo Slideshow

Kleptomaniac amputees take a l...

Kleptomaniac amputees take a lot of faux toes.
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Pun Gents - Daily Jokes, One-liners, Groaners, Puns of the day :: Puns on Demand :: Punshine Girls and Boys!
  • Currently 5.63/10

Rating: 5.6/10 (8)

Do you know why Baskin Robbins...

Do you know why Baskin Robbins only has 31 flavors? Because Chuck Norris doesn't like Fudge Ripple.
Joke | Source: Daily Chuck - Daily Chuck Norris Fact
  • Currently 2.31/10

Rating: 2.3/10 (54)

Christmas jokes-Down the chimney

Why does Father Christmas go down the chimney ?
Because it soots him !
Joke | Source: Really Funny Jokes - Really Funny jokes, adult jokes, Good jokes, short funny jokes, teacher jokes, affair jokes, kids jokes, doctor jokes, funny pictures
  • Currently 5.88/10

Rating: 5.9/10 (8)

Macchu Picchu...

Macchu Picchu: Where face-recognition technology was developed.
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Pun Gents - Daily Jokes, One-liners, Groaners, Puns of the day :: Puns on Demand :: Punshine Girls and Boys!
  • Currently 4.00/10

Rating: 4.0/10 (10)

If at first you don't succeed,...

If at first you don't succeed, you're not Chuck Norris.
Joke | Source: Daily Chuck - Daily Chuck Norris Fact
  • Currently 3.25/10

Rating: 3.3/10 (8)

Never criticize someone unless...

Never criticize someone unless you walk a mile in his or her shoes; and then when you criticize them, you'll be a mile away and have their shoes!
#joke #short
Joke | Source: MHINTZ0929's Blog - New funny joke each day
  • Currently 6.57/10

Rating: 6.6/10 (7)

One horse can carry more money...

One horse can carry more money on its nose than the stage coach carried in all its history.
#joke #short #animal #horse
Joke | Source: A joke a day - Free Jokes of the Day Clean Funny Jokes via Email, Humor and Entertainment
  • Currently 4.20/10

Rating: 4.2/10 (5)

I went to France and took a du...

I went to France and took a dump in a street. Now I'm an accused merde horreur.
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Pun Gents - Daily Jokes, One-liners, Groaners, Puns of the day :: Puns on Demand :: Punshine Girls and Boys!
  • Currently 5.25/10

Rating: 5.3/10 (8)

Chuck Norris doesn't go on the...

Chuck Norris doesn't go on the Internet, he has every site stored in his memory. He refreshes webpages by blinking.
Joke | Source: Daily Chuck - Daily Chuck Norris Fact
  • Currently 2.44/10

Rating: 2.4/10 (59)

Christmas jokes-Afraid of Santa Claus

What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus?
Claustrophobic!
Joke | Source: Really Funny Jokes - Really Funny jokes, adult jokes, Good jokes, short funny jokes, teacher jokes, affair jokes, kids jokes, doctor jokes, funny pictures
  • Currently 4.60/10

Rating: 4.6/10 (10)

Laura Kightlinger: Christmas Sadness

My grandmother, she passed away at Christmas time. So now, I have this built in sadness, you know, every holiday. Cause Im plagued with the thought of, you know, what she would have given me. What didnt I get to open this year?
Joke | Source: Comedy Central: Jokes - Jokes provided daily from Comedy Central's archive.
  • Currently 3.13/10

Rating: 3.1/10 (67)

King Neptune never learned to ...

King Neptune never learned to ride a pike.
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Pun Gents - Daily Jokes, One-liners, Groaners, Puns of the day :: Puns on Demand :: Punshine Girls and Boys!
  • Currently 5.29/10

Rating: 5.3/10 (7)

"Brokeback Mountain" is not ju...

"Brokeback Mountain" is not just a movie. It's also what Chuck Norris calls the pile of dead ninjas in his front yard.
Joke | Source: Daily Chuck - Daily Chuck Norris Fact
  • Currently 2.26/10

Rating: 2.3/10 (72)

Why did the turtle cross the r...

Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station.

And then....

Why was the turtle so shiny when he left the shell station?

He used some turtle wax!

#joke #short #animal #turtle
Joke | Source: MHINTZ0929's Blog - New funny joke each day
  • Currently 6.50/10

Rating: 6.5/10 (8)

Juston McKinney: Scratch Tickets for Christmas

You know what my uncle gets me every year for Christmas? Scratch tickets. Thanks for making the decision to gamble away my Christmas gift for me.
Joke | Source: Comedy Central: Jokes - Jokes provided daily from Comedy Central's archive.
  • Currently 5.00/10

Rating: 5.0/10 (11)

You Are So Poor - Kicking a Can

You are so poor . . .

When you were kicking a can, your friend came by and asked

what you were doing. You said you were moving!

#joke #short
Joke | Source: Jokes of the day - Taken from Bartender's guide to Jokes, Drinks, and Poker - once good site, no longer active.
  • Currently 5.33/10

Rating: 5.3/10 (12)

Perrier: a Canadian fencerR...

Perrier: a Canadian fencer's drink of choice.
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Pun Gents - Daily Jokes, One-liners, Groaners, Puns of the day :: Puns on Demand :: Punshine Girls and Boys!
  • Currently 6.67/10

Rating: 6.7/10 (6)

Guns don't kill people. Chuck ...

Guns don't kill people. Chuck Norris kills people.
Joke | Source: Daily Chuck - Daily Chuck Norris Fact
  • Currently 2.64/10

Rating: 2.6/10 (72)

Christmas jokes-Letter sent up the chimney

What do you call a letter sent up the chimney on Christmas Eve?
Black mail !
Joke | Source: Really Funny Jokes - Really Funny jokes, adult jokes, Good jokes, short funny jokes, teacher jokes, affair jokes, kids jokes, doctor jokes, funny pictures
  • Currently 6.22/10

Rating: 6.2/10 (9)

Anthony Jeselnik: Christmas Gifts

This past Christmas, I told my girlfriend for months in advance, Baby, all I want from you this year is an Xbox. Thats it. Beginning and end of list: Xbox. You know what she got me? A homemade frame with a picture of us from our first date together. Which was fine -- because I got her an Xbox.
Joke | Source: Comedy Central: Jokes - Jokes provided daily from Comedy Central's archive.
  • Currently 5.60/10

Rating: 5.6/10 (42)

Red truck

An Alabamian came home and found his house on fire He rushed next door, telephoned the fire department and shouted, "Hurry over here, muh house is on fahr!"

"OK," replied the fireman, "how do we get there?"

"Shucks, don't you fellers still have those big red trucks?"

#joke #short
Joke | Source: Jokes of the day - Taken from Bartender's guide to Jokes, Drinks, and Poker - once good site, no longer active.
  • Currently 6.00/10

Rating: 6.0/10 (30)

A wooden furniture salesman ha...

A wooden furniture salesman has to be patient: Teak talk, teak talk…
Joke | Source: Pun Gents - Daily Jokes, One-liners, Groaners, Puns of the day :: Puns on Demand :: Punshine Girls and Boys!
  • Currently 4.93/10

Rating: 4.9/10 (14)

Chuck Norris got his drivers l...

Chuck Norris got his drivers license at the age of 16. Seconds.
Joke | Source: Daily Chuck - Daily Chuck Norris Fact
  • Currently 3.09/10

Rating: 3.1/10 (53)

Michael Ian Black: Pills

I dont drink, and I dont do drugs, but Ill take a pill. Ill take any pill, you know what I mean? Cause pills cant hurt me! Cause theyre made by companies.
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Comedy Central: Jokes - Jokes provided daily from Comedy Central's archive.
  • Currently 2.37/10

Rating: 2.4/10 (54)

Game Show....

Our parents got divorced when we were kids and it was kind of cool. We got to go to divorce court with them. It was like a game show. My mom won the house and car. We're all excited. My dad got some luggage.

-- Tom Arnold

#joke #short #mother #mom #divorce
Joke | Source: Jokes - Used to be - Pacific products joke of the day, but site no longer works.
  • Currently 5.38/10

Rating: 5.4/10 (16)

Q: What's the definition of mi...

Q: What's the definition of mixed emotions?
A: When you see your mother-in-law backing off a cliff in your brand new car.
Joke | Source: A joke a day - Free Jokes of the Day Clean Funny Jokes via Email, Humor and Entertainment
  • Currently 7.79/10

Rating: 7.8/10 (14)

Successful mating results in <...

Successful mating results in spawn attaineous combustion.
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Pun Gents - Daily Jokes, One-liners, Groaners, Puns of the day :: Puns on Demand :: Punshine Girls and Boys!
  • Currently 6.38/10

Rating: 6.4/10 (13)

Chuck Norris beat the Sun in a...

Chuck Norris beat the Sun in a staring contest.
Joke | Source: Daily Chuck - Daily Chuck Norris Fact
  • Currently 6.16/10

Rating: 6.2/10 (19)

Q: What's the definition ...

Q: What's the definition of mixed emotions?

A: When you see your mother-in-law backing off a cliff in your brand new car.
Joke | Source: MHINTZ0929's Blog - New funny joke each day
  • Currently 5.42/10

Rating: 5.4/10 (12)

sdfgdf

dfgsdfg

#joke #short
Joke | Source: Jokes of the day - Taken from Bartender's guide to Jokes, Drinks, and Poker - once good site, no longer active.
  • Currently 2.91/10

Rating: 2.9/10 (64)

When I pass the sugar, I do it...

When I pass the sugar, I do it violently. My nickname is the Hurry Cane.
#joke #short #food #sugar
Joke | Source: Pun Gents - Daily Jokes, One-liners, Groaners, Puns of the day :: Puns on Demand :: Punshine Girls and Boys!
  • Currently 3.14/10

Rating: 3.1/10 (7)

Godzilla is a Japanese renditi...

Godzilla is a Japanese rendition of Chuck Norris' first visit to Tokyo.
Joke | Source: Daily Chuck - Daily Chuck Norris Fact
  • Currently 3.49/10

Rating: 3.5/10 (45)

Blonde jokes-Dollar on the sidewalk

Superman, Santa Clause, and a blonde are walking along and see a dollar lying on the sidewalk.
Who picks it up first?
The blonde, because the other two don't exist!
Joke | Source: Really Funny Jokes - Really Funny jokes, adult jokes, Good jokes, short funny jokes, teacher jokes, affair jokes, kids jokes, doctor jokes, funny pictures
  • Currently 4.08/10

Rating: 4.1/10 (12)

T.J. Miller: Drinking Mimosas

If youre drinking champagne at 8 a.m. youre an alcoholic, but if you add orange juice its just an early brunch.
#joke #short #fruit #orange #drinks #juice #champagne
Joke | Source: Comedy Central: Jokes - Jokes provided daily from Comedy Central's archive.
  • Currently 3.93/10

Rating: 3.9/10 (15)

Boo-merang: w...

Boo-merang: when you angrily send back your pie.
#joke #short #food #pie
Joke | Source: Pun Gents - Daily Jokes, One-liners, Groaners, Puns of the day :: Puns on Demand :: Punshine Girls and Boys!
  • Currently 3.30/10

Rating: 3.3/10 (10)

Scientifically speaking, it is...

Scientifically speaking, it is impossible to charge Chuck Norris with "obstruction of justice." This is because even Chuck Norris cannot be in two places at the same time.
Joke | Source: Daily Chuck - Daily Chuck Norris Fact
  • Currently 2.32/10

Rating: 2.3/10 (59)

Those who feed coffee liqueurs...

Those who feed coffee liqueurs to chickens and then bang then with a gong are part of a nefarious secret society: the Kahlua Clucks Clang.
#joke #short #animal #chicken #drinks #coffee
Joke | Source: Pun Gents - Daily Jokes, One-liners, Groaners, Puns of the day :: Puns on Demand :: Punshine Girls and Boys!
  • Currently 3.83/10

Rating: 3.8/10 (12)

Chuck Norris doesn't kill two ...

Chuck Norris doesn't kill two birds with one stone, he kills two stones with one bird.
Joke | Source: Daily Chuck - Daily Chuck Norris Fact
  • Currently 4.38/10

Rating: 4.4/10 (16)

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