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Short jokes - funny one liners (11601 to 11640)Short funny jokes. These jokes are less 300 chars long, so easy to remember! These are the jokes listed 11601 to 11640. |
Do botanists play the ...
Do botanists play the xylem-phloem?#joke #short
Chuck Norris hears sign langua...
Chuck Norris hears sign language.#joke #short #chuck-norris
The marketer picked up women a...
The marketer picked up women at the bar via direct male.#joke #short
When Chuck Norris does divisio...
When Chuck Norris does division, there are no remainders.#joke #short #chuck-norris
How Fast Was I Going?
"When I saw you driving down the road, I guessed 55 at least."
"You're wrong, officer, it's only my hat that makes me look that old."
#joke #short #policeman
Chuck Norris knows where Carme...
Chuck Norris knows where Carmen Sandiego is.#joke #short #chuck-norris
Chuck Norris is the only perso...
Chuck Norris is the only person on the planet that can kick you in the back of the face.#joke #short #chuck-norris
Many great oarsmen have become...
Many great oarsmen have become rowed scullers.#joke #short
Overboard
The banker fell overboard from a friend's sailboat.
The friend grabbed a life preserver, held it up, not knowing if the banker could swim, and shouted, “Can you float alone?”
“Obviously,” the banker replied, “but this is a heck of a time to talk business.”
#joke #short
The Great Wall of China was or...
The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Chuck Norris out. It failed miserably.#joke #short #chuck-norris
What did the spider email to t...
What did the spider email to the fly?Visit my Web site!
#joke #short
The latest mathematical theory...
The latest mathematical theory was delta blow. It was like lambda to the slaughter.#joke #short
God offered Chuck Norris the g...
God offered Chuck Norris the gift to fly, which he swiftly declined for super strength roundhouse ability.#joke #short #chuck-norris
Chuck Norris does, in fact, li...
Chuck Norris does, in fact, live in a round house.#joke #short #chuck-norris
The Pillsbury Doughboy came fr...
The Pillsbury Doughboy came from the Yeast, when he was a leaven. He is always baked or fried, and since he got back home he spends all day in drawers. And a little known fact: he is a product of inbreading, and has special kneads.#joke #short
Apple pays Chuck Norris 99 cen...
Apple pays Chuck Norris 99 cents every time he listens to a song.Phone sex
I tried phone sex once, but the holes were too small.Submitted by Calamjo
Edited by Curtis
#joke #short
Why do you do that, Mom?
Little Johnny watched, fascinated, as his mother smoothed cold cream on her face.
"Why do you do that, Mom?"
"To make myself beautiful," she answered. She then began to remove the cream with a tissue.
"What's the matter?" Johnny started. "Giving up?"
Some people get lucky and kill...
Some people get lucky and kill two birds with one stone. Chuck Norris once killed four birds with half a stone. What's that? You say there's no such thing as half a stone? The four dead birds didn't think so either.A Very Good Reason...
The angry wife met her husband at the door. There was alcohol on his breath and lipstick on his cheek.
"I assume," she snarled, "that there is a very good reason for you to come waltzing in at six o'clock in the morning?"
"There is, he replied.... "Breakfast."
Wrong Answer
A woman, standing nude, looks in the bedroom mirror while her husband reads in bed."I feel horrible, I look fat and ugly..........pay me a compliment."
The husband replies, "Your eyesight's damn near perfect."
He never heard the shot....
#joke #short
Do watch repairmen work ron...
Do watch repairmen work over time?#joke #short
Chuck Norris is not his full n...
Chuck Norris is not his full name, there's a silent "fist".#joke #short #chuck-norris
Morality
If electricity comes from electrons... does that mean that morality comes from morons?#joke #short
A Doctor Is Complaining To A Mechanic
A doctor is talking to a car mechanic, "Your fee is several times more per hour then we get paid for medical care."
"Yeah, but you see, doc, you have always the same model, it hasn't changed since Adam; but we have to keep up to date with new models coming every month."
Those who box gets in rong...
Those who box gets in arm's way.#joke #short
There are no races, only count...
There are no races, only countries of people Chuck Norris has beaten to different shades of black and blue.#joke #short #chuck-norris
Twitter is standard e-...
Twitter is standard e-quip-ment.#joke #short
Chuck Norris' pulse is measure...
Chuck Norris' pulse is measured on the richter scale.#joke #short #chuck-norris
Mr. Trent always scheduled the...
Mr. Trent always scheduled the weekly staff meeting for four thirty on Friday afternoons. When one of the employees finally got up the nerve to ask why, he explained. “I will tell you why … I’ve leaned that’s the only time of the week when none of you seem to want to argue with me.”Elementary school talent shows...
Elementary school talent shows are intense. Some of the competitors really go for the juggler.#joke #short
The ocean was once fresh water...
The ocean was once fresh water but Chuck Norris likes his shrimp salty.#joke #short #chuck-norris
Pig In A Bar
A lady goes into a bar with her goose. Then the bartender comes up to her and says, ''Why did you have to bring the pig in with you?'' Then the lady answered, ''Excuse me, I think this is a goose.''
And the bartender says, ''Excuse me, I was talking to the goose.''
Hey, did you hear? The prison ...
Hey, did you hear? The prison makes powdered soap now for the inmates, because of the problems with the bar soap after it was droped.It's a good thing too, becouse powder soap takes longer to pick up!
#joke #short
The study of ponies, aka ro...
The study of ponies, aka micro-equine-omics.#joke #short
Contrary to popular belief, Am...
Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Chucktatorship.#joke #short
