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Short jokes - funny one liners (11641 to 11680)Short funny jokes. These jokes are less 300 chars long, so easy to remember! These are the jokes listed 11641 to 11680. |
I am paranoid about pickpocket...
I am paranoid about pickpockets. I have nervous of steal.#joke #short
Count from one to ten. That's ...
Count from one to ten. That's how long it would take Chuck Norris to kill you...47 times.#joke #short #chuck-norris
A skeleton once wanted to go t...
A skeleton once wanted to go to a party but then he realised he had NO-BODY to go with.#joke #short
Little people want to get to h...
Little people want to get to heaven. Alas, mini are called but few are chosen.#joke #short
Chuck Norris once roundhouse k...
Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked a man into next week. He then roundhouse kicked himself into next week, so he could roundhouse the man another week forward.#joke #short #chuck-norris
Headline In The Paper
HEADLINE: A hole has appeared in the ladies changing rooms at the sports club. Police are looking into it.
The Buddhist Hotdog Vendor
A Buddhist approaches a hotdog vendor and says: "Make me one with everything."
He gives the vendor a $20 bill and waits. Finally he says: "Where's my change?"
Says the vendor: "All change must come from within."
#joke #short
TEACHER: What is the chemical ...
TEACHER: What is the chemical formula for water?SARAH: "HIJKLMNO"!
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
SARAH: Yesterday you said its H to O!
#joke #short
If you work in an office with ...
If you work in an office with Chuck Norris, don't ask him for his three-hole-punch.#joke #short #chuck-norris
Two golden-agers were discussi...
Two golden-agers were discussing their husbands over tea."I do wish that my Elmer would stop biting his nails. He makes me terribly nervous."
"My Billy used to do the same thing," the older woman replied. "But I broke him of the habit."
"How?"
"I hid his teeth."
Salvation by Annoyance
An exasperated mother, whose son was always getting into mischief, finally asked him, "How do you expect to get into Heaven?"
The boy thought it over and said, "Well, I'll run in and out and in and out and keep slamming the door until St. Peter says, 'For Heaven's sake, Dylan, come in or stay out!'"
Almonds are c...
Almonds are created equal.#joke #short
Only Chuck Norris can prevent ...
Only Chuck Norris can prevent forest fires.#joke #short #chuck-norris
What dish would you make of Di...
What dish would you make of Disney's Donald? A: Speaking duck.#joke #short
Scientists have estimated that...
Scientists have estimated that the energy given off during the Big Bang is roughly equal to 1CNRhK (Chuck Norris Roundhouse Kick)#joke #short #chuck-norris
Jump Rope
Did you hear the joke about the jump rope? Neah! Skip it!#joke #short
Garbage day....
A Father is asked by his friend, "Has your son decided what he wants to be when he grows up?"
"Yes, he wants to be a garbage collector," he replies.
To this his friend responds "Strange ambition to have for a career."
"Well, he thinks that garbage collectors only work on Tuesdays!"
"Vice President Dick Chen...
"Vice President Dick Cheney has given another speech linking Saddam Hussein with the terrorist attacks of 9/11. Didn't President Bush say Saddam Hussein has nothing to do with the terrorist attacks? Here's my question, what if it turns out that Dick Cheney is the dumb one?" -- Jay Leno#joke #short
Which dinosaur just couldnR...
Which dinosaur just couldn't decide? A: Staygosaurus.#joke #short
Chuck Norris can win a game of...
Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves.#joke #short #chuck-norris
The Hindi-speaking Walmart gre...
The Hindi-speaking Walmart greeter became rich: he namasté great fortune.#joke #short
Chuck Norris has already been ...
Chuck Norris has already been to Mars. That's why there are no signs of life there.#joke #short #chuck-norris
Pap smear
Why is a pap smear called a pap smear? Because women wouldn't do them if they were called cunt scrapes.#joke #short
Why did the cannibal eat his w...
Why did the cannibal eat his wife and children?#joke #short
Superman once watched an episo...
Superman once watched an episode of Walker, Texas Ranger. He then cried himself to sleep.#joke #short
Poverty Line
Politician wanted to (bring/uplift) poor peopleliving below poverty line. He thought that
simplest way will be to tie that poverty line
2 feet below from the existing level so that
those poor people can be brought up quickly
and they will be richer.
#joke #short
Fitting into size-19 shoes is ...
Fitting into size-19 shoes is the greatest feet imaginable.#joke #short
Miracle whip
Q: What do you call a ninety year old man who can still masturbate?A: Miracle Whip.
Submitted by Curtis
Edited by Glaci
#joke #short
Do stutterers drive a ...
Do stutterers drive a hiccup truck?#joke #short
When Chuck Norris says "More c...
When Chuck Norris says "More cowbell", he MEANS it.#joke #short #chuck-norris
I made my son do sit-ups. He c...
I made my son do sit-ups. He claimed it was child ab use.#joke #short
Chuck Norris doesn't bowl stri...
Chuck Norris doesn't bowl strikes, he just knocks down one pin and the other nine faint.#joke #short #chuck-norris
Jim Breuer: Stumping a Stoner
You can stump any stoner with one question: what were we just talking about?#joke #short
