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Short jokes - funny one liners (13321 to 13360)Short funny jokes. These jokes are less 300 chars long, so easy to remember! These are the jokes listed 13321 to 13360. |
A Recently Spotted Bumper Sticker:
"CAUTION: Non-exposure to the Son will cause burning!"
Pelosi and the Pope
The Pope and Nancy Pelosi are on the same stage in front of a huge crowd.Mouse Droppings
An eagle swoops down from the sky and eats a mouse. Three hours later, while the eagle is flying, the mouse sticks its head out of the eagles butt and asks, How high up are we?About 2,000 feet, the eagle replies.
The mouse replies, You aint sh*ttin me, are you?
A man was driving a horse and ...
A man was driving a horse and cart along a country road at an angle of 45 degrees. After three miles like this, he asked a passer-by: "How long does this blasted hill last?" "This isn't a hill," came the reply. "Your back wheels are off!"Talks Too Much
Eight-year-old Nina brought her report card home from school. Her marks were good, mostly A's and a couple of B's.Cross eyed law
The cross eyed judge looked at the three defendants in the dock and he said to the first one, "so how do you plead?","Not guilty" said the second defendant.
"I wasn't talking to you" the judge replied.
"I never said a word" the third defendant replied.
Excuses for Missing Work
1. If it is all the same to you I won't be coming in to work. The voices told me to clean all the guns today.The Minister and the Taxi Driver
A minister dies and is waiting in line at the Pearly Gates. Ahead of him is a guy who's dressed in sunglasses, a loud shirt, leather jacket, and jeans.Only A Man Would Try This
Pocket Tazer Stun Gun, a great gift for the wife. A guy who purchased his lovely wife a pocket Tazer for their anniversary submitted this:"Everybody is in the Vale...
"Everybody is in the Valentine's mood. For example, earlier today Dick Cheney shot his buddy in the ass with an arrow." -- David LettermanRecently-Spotted Bumper Sticker
I’m a Frisbeteerian. When I die my soul goes up to the roof and gets stuck there.
The Tardy Bagpiper
As a bagpiper, I was asked by a funeral director to play at a graveside service for a homeless man who had no family or friends.How Yodelling Began
Have you ever wondered where and how yodelling began?The Rumor
Keep this philosophy in mind the next time you hear, or are out to repeat a rumor.Changed name
Did you know that Lorena Bobbitt moved to Russia and changed her name?She now goes by the name of Ivana Cutchacokov.
Submitted by Calamjo
Edited by Tantilazing
The Mexican Firefighter
Q. What did the Mexican firefighter name his two sons?A. Hose A and Hose B
Spitfire
Whats black and white, black and brown, and black and black? A nun roasting on a spit.A Recently Spotted Bumper Sticker:
"If you talk to God, it's prayer. If God talks to you, it's schizophrenia."
Medicare Coverage In a Nutshell
The phone rings and the lady of the house answers, 'Hello.'Work Blows
Whats the difference between a wife and a job? After ten years the job still sucks!Michael visits mall
Q. Why did Michael Jackson rush over to Wal-Mart?A. He heard that boys' pants were 1/2 off.
Facial Expression
A guy went to a psychiatrist because he was having severe problems with his sex life.Q. What's the diffrence betwee...
Q. What's the diffrence between preachers and Christmas trees?A. They both have balls but just for decoration.
Your chances are better...
An enormously wealthy 65-year-old man falls in love with a young woman in her twenties and is contemplating proposing.
"Do you think she'd marry me if I tell her I'm 45?" he asked a friend.
"Your chances are better," said the friend, "if you tell her you're 90."
Sunday School Money
A small boy stunned his parents after Sunday School when he began to empty his pockets of nickels, dimes and quarters. Finally his mother asked the obvious question, "Where did you get all that money?"
"At church," the boy replied nonchalantly. "They have bowls of it."
Blood
A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood.Penis vs. Paycheck
Q: Whats the difference between a penis and a paycheck?A: You dont have to beg your wife to blow your paycheck.
A football team was short of a...
A football team was short of a goalkeeper, so the captain asked a cow grazing in the next field to join the team. The cow agreed. Later, the local cricket team needed a wicket keeper, so the same cow was asked to do the job. The cow replied: "Who ever heard of a cow playing cricket?"Mexican Jews
Two old Jewish men, Sid and Al, are sitting in a Mexican restaurant in Los Angeles one day. Sid asks Al, 'Do you know of any people of our faith born and raised in Mexico ?'A Recently Spotted Bumper Sticker:
"What if the Hokey Pokey really is what it's all about?"
