|
Short jokes - funny one liners (14281 to 14320)Short funny jokes. These jokes are less 300 chars long, so easy to remember! These are the jokes listed 14281 to 14320. |
Why did the dude stand in fron...
Why did the dude stand in front of a mirror with his eyes closed? He wanted to see what he looked like asleep.#joke #short
Good advice...
A mother mouse and a baby mouse are walking along when, all of a sudden, a cat attacks them. The mother mouse goes, "BARK!!" and the cat runs away.
"See?" says the mother mouse to her baby, "how important it is for you to learn a foreign language?"
THE SENILITY PRAYER :
Gran...
THE SENILITY PRAYER : Grant me the senility to forget the people
I never liked anyway,
The good fortune to run into the ones I do, and
The eyesight to tell the difference
#joke #short
The Buddhist Computer Addict
Q: What happens when a Buddhist becomes totally absorbed with the computer he is working with?
A: He enters Nerdvana.
#joke #short
Canoe
A Frenchman, an Englishman and a New Yorker are exploring the jungle and are captured by a fierce tribe.#joke #short
What do you call a dude in a l...
What do you call a dude in a leather jacket? A rebel without a clue!#joke #short
It's a nasty day, and a g...
It's a nasty day, and a guy gets pulled over for speeding.The cop says, "Isn't it kind of dumb to be driving so fast in this storm?"
The driver says, "Who's dumb? You're the one who's standing out in the rain."
#joke #short
These days about half the stuf...
These days about half the stuffIn my shopping cart says,
'For fast relief
#joke #short
Yo momma so black, she can lea...
Yo momma so black, she can leave fingerprints on charcoal.#joke #short
Clinton, Bush and Washington... Sinking Ship
Bill Clinton, George W. Bush and George Washington are on a sinking ship.As the boat sinks, George Washington heroically shouts, Save the women!
George W. Bush hysterically hollers, Screw the women!
Bill Clintons asks excitedly, Do we have time?
#joke #short
Why did the dude only smell go...
Why did the dude only smell good on the right side? He didn't know where to buy Left Guard!#joke #short
What do you call two Spanish f...
What do you call two Spanish firemen?Hose A and Hose B
#joke #short
How Old?
A woman decides to have a facelift for her 50th birthday. She spends $5,000 and feels pretty good about the results. On her way home, she stops at a newsagents to buy a newspaper. Before leaving, she says to the clerk, "I hope you don't mind my asking, but how old do you think I am?"#joke #short
Yo momma so stupid she thought...
Yo momma so stupid she thought Olde English 800 was a college course.#joke #short
Playboy special
Playboy is coming out with a new magazine for men who are married.Every month the centerfold is the exact same woman.
Submitted by Curtis
Edited by Calamjo
#joke #short
Did you hear about the dude wh...
Did you hear about the dude who just bought an AM radio? It took him two weeks to figure out that you could play it at night.#joke #short
Know how to prevent sagging? <...
Know how to prevent sagging?Just eat till the wrinkles fill out.
#joke #short
A supermodel finds a mirror co...
A supermodel finds a mirror compact, looks inside, and says, "Hmmm, this person looks familiar." A second supermodel takes a look too, and says, "You dummy, it's me!"#joke #short
4 Weeks
A Bible study group was discussing the unforeseen possibility of their sudden death. The leader of the discussion said, " We will all die some day, and none of us really know when, but if we did we would all do a better job of preparing ourselves for that inevitable event."#joke #short
My memory's not as sharp as it...
My memory's not as sharp as it used to be.Also, my memory's not as sharp as it used to be
#joke #short
Wealthy Palestine
Q. Which area of Palestine was especially wealthy?
A. The area around Jordan. The banks were always overflowing.
#joke #short
Why did the supermodel get dep...
Why did the supermodel get depressed when she looked at her driver's license? It said that she had an F in Sex.#joke #short
A husband says to his to frien...
A husband says to his to friend: "My wife wasn't happy with the bag and belt I gave her for her birthday – but at least the vacuum cleaner works better."#joke #short
The will to live...
A man went to his lawyer and said "I would like to make a will but I don't know exactly how to go about it."
The lawyer says "No problem, leave it all to me".
The man looks somewhat upset ... "Well I knew you were going to take the biggest slice, but I'd like to leave a little to my children too!
Mohawk
A teenager takes a seat on a bench next to a middle aged man reading a newspaper. After a few minutes the man looks over and stares intentively on the youth's multicolored mohawk. The teenager looks over at the man and says "What's the matter old man, never done anything interesting in your life?"#joke #short
An elderly woman decided to pr...
An elderly woman decided to prepare her will andTold her preacher she had two final requests.
First, she wanted to be cremated, and second,
She wanted her ashes scattered over Wal-Mart.
'Wal-Mart?' the preacher exclaimed.
'Why Wal-Mart?'
'Then I'll be sure my daughters visit me twice a week'
#joke #short
Visiting the modern art museum...
Visiting the modern art museum, a lady turned to an attendant standing nearby."This," she said, "I suppose, is one of those hideous representations you call modern art?"
"No, Madam," replied the attendant. "That one's called a mirror."
#joke #short
