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Short jokes - funny one liners (2361 to 2400)Short funny jokes. These jokes are less 300 chars long, so easy to remember! These are the jokes listed 2361 to 2400. |
Advil helps me edit my essays. I B proofin'. #joke #short
My Horoscope
My horoscope said I was going to get my heart broken in 12 years time...
So I bought a puppy to cheer me up.
Revised Salary
HR: "This is your revised salary. We recommend you keep it confidential."
Employee: "Don't worry, I'm equally ashamed of it."
“Whenever I feel with
“Whenever I feel withdrawn, I call my bank to deposit my loose change.”
“My friend had a star
“My friend had a start at writing some moving poetry, but gave up when he couldn't find a good rhyme for 'U-Haul.'”
60,000 Miles
Biology Teacher: Did you know that you have 60,000 miles of blood vessels in your body?
Little Johnny: No wonder I have tired blood.
To men discussing how tight as
To men discussing how tight ass cold their wives had been to them about giving sex.The first fellow says, "My wife's so cold I can put a glass of water in bed with her and the next morning its turned to ice."
The second fellow says, "Every time my old lady spreads her legs the furnace kicks in!"
Yoga can be dangerous. If you&
Yoga can be dangerous. If you're dressing for a class – wear a hazmat suit.
Tinder bio
My Tinder bio says that I have a corner office with views of the entire city, drive a $500,000 vehicle, and that I'm paid to travel.
My dates never seem too happy when I tell them I'm a bus driver.
Furniture stores
“The two largest furniture stores in my hometown are owned by a pretty single lady and a good looking bachelor. They started dating lately. Their customers are hoping for the best. So fa, so good!”
Can You Hear Him?
On his first day back to work after the birth of his son, Randy's supervisor said, "I understand you have a new youngster at your house?"
Randy glanced around apprehensively, "For heaven's sake, you can't hear him all the way out here, can you?"
Fictional Adult
I tried to type on my phone, “I’m a functional adult.”
My phone changed it to “fictional adult.”
I left it as is, as I feel that’s more accurate.
Full garbage cans are a terror
Full garbage cans are a terrorist threat, aka Bin Laden.Dad, You Are My Hero
Son: Dad, You are my hero.
Dad: Really?
Son: Yes. Can you give me an autograph with your eyes closed?
Dad: Well, yes, of course.
Son: That's great! Then here, close your eyes and sign my report card.
Gaugin often
Gaugin often repeated himself.“If a single statisti
“If a single statistician meets another single statistician does she datum or does he data?”
