The best jokes (18091 to 18105)The best jokes rated by site visitors. Top rated jokes. These are the best jokes rated 18091 to 18105. NOTE jokes sometimes might seem not to be in order. Due to better performance joke top list is refreshed only once daily. |
Corgi Jokes - to celebrate International Corgi Day
We celebrate International Corgi Day on June the 4th. Get involved in International Corgi Day, tell a Corgi Joke!
Q: Why are most corgi jokes such bad jokes?
A: Because they’re too short.
Q: What do you call a corgi that is overweight?
A: Low-fat
Q: Why do corgis react so violently when their food is touched?
A: Because they have a short fuse.
Q: What do you call a corgi owner who instructs his canine companion in dance?
A: A corgi-o-grapher.
Q: How do corgis unlock doors?
A: By using a Corg-key
Q: When it’s cold outside, what does a corgi wear?
A: The cordigan
Q: What do you call a dog from New Mexico?
A: An Albu-corgi.
Q: Why are corgis such excellent hunting companions?
A: They are in-corg-nito because concealment is not necessary.
Q: Why do corgis enjoy going to the mall?
A: Because they want their tail to come back.
Q: What occurs when a corgi is connected to a battery?
A: A short circuit occurs.
Q: If a corgi dresses up as one of the Avengers for Halloween, what would you call him?
A: One Thorgi.
Q: When other dogs eat their food, why do corgis grow aggressive?
A: Because they are short-tempered dogs.
Q: Why did the corgi sit in the shade on a hot day?
A: Because it didn’t want to be a “hot dog.”
Once a grizzly bear threatened...
Once a grizzly bear threatened to eat Chuck Norris. Chuck showed the bear his fist and the bear proceeded to eat himself, because it would be the less painful way to die.A duck walks into a Dairy
A duck walks into a dairy and says
"Give me some chapstick, put it on my bill!"
But the cash register attendee doesn't speak English and cannot understand him.
He does, however, question whether his God is punishing him because as all people know, Ducks cannot speak, however, this hallucination must be punishment for a horrid misdeed.
The employee breaks down into tears and begins reciting prayer.
The duck, slightly miffed, walks out, pondering why he'd need chapstick anyway, since he has no lips... heh heh heh
Chuck Norris once participated...
Chuck Norris once participated in the running of the bulls. He walked.Chuck Norris wrote every singl...
Chuck Norris wrote every single edition of the Choose Your Own Adventure books. He wrote them all under pennames to hide the fact that they are autobiographical.Every Saturday morning Grandpa...
Every Saturday morning Grandpa Walt found himself babysitting his three grandchildren...all boys. The kids always wanted to play ''war,'' and Grandpa somehow always got coaxed into the game.His daughter came to pick up the kids early one Saturday and witnessed Grandpa take a fake shot as Jason pointed a toy gun and yelled, "Bang!''
Grandpa slumped to the floor and stayed there motionless. The daughter rushed over to see if he was all right. Grandpa opened one eye and whispered, ''Sh-h-h, I always do this. It's the only chance I get to rest.''
Steven Spielberg was busy disc...
Steven Spielberg was busy discussing his new action adventure about famous classical composers. Bruce Willis, Sylvester Stallone and Arnold Schwarzenegger were in the room."Who do you want to play?" Spielberg asked Bruce Willis. "I've always been a big fan of Chopin," said Bruce. "I'll play him."
"And you, Sylvester?" asked Spielberg. "Mozart's the one for me!" said Sly.
"And what about you?" Spielberg asked Arnold Schwarzenegger.
"I'll be Bach," said Arnie.
Why Helicopters are Better than Women
1. A helicopter will kill you quickly . . . a woman takesher time.
2. Helicopters can be turned on by a flick of a switch.
3. A helicopter does not get mad if you 'touch and go.'
4. A helicopter does not object to a preflight inspection.
5. Helicopters come with manuals.
6. Helicopters have strict weight and balance limits.
7. You can fly a helicopter any time of the month.
8. Helicopters don't come with in-laws.
9. Helicopters don't whine unless something is really
wrong.
10. Helicopters don't care about how many other helicopters
you have flown.
11. When flying, you and your helicopter both arrive at the
same time.
12. Helicopters don't mind if you look at other helicopters,
or if you buy helicopter magazines.
13. It's OK to use tie-downs on your helicopter.
Two piggies walk into a bar, g...
Two piggies walk into a bar, get drunk and ask, "Where's the bathroom?"The bartender points to the door and they rush in.
Two more piggies walk into a bar. They soon get drunk and they ask, "Where's the bathroom?"
The bartender points to the door and they rush in.
One piggy walks into a bar. He gets drunk out of his mind and then heads for the exit.
"Hey, buddy! Do you want know where the bathroom is?" asks the bartender.
"No thanks," the piggy slurs, "I always go WEEWEEWEE all the way home!"
Strange...
A lawyer named Strange died, and his friend asked the tombstone maker to inscribe on his tombstone, "Here lies Strange, an honest man, and a lawyer."
The inscriber insisted that such an inscription would be confusing, for passersby would tend to think that three men were buried under the stone.
However he suggested an alternative: He would inscribe, "Here lies a man who was both honest and a lawyer.
"That way, whenever anyone walked by the tombstone and read it, they would be certain to remark: "That's Strange!"
“The debate about unm...
“The debate about unmanned aircraft strikes just keeps droning on.”
