The best jokes (18106 to 18120)The best jokes rated by site visitors. Top rated jokes. These are the best jokes rated 18106 to 18120. NOTE jokes sometimes might seem not to be in order. Due to better performance joke top list is refreshed only once daily. |
Chuck Norris once participated...
Chuck Norris once participated in the running of the bulls. He walked.Chuck Norris wrote every singl...
Chuck Norris wrote every single edition of the Choose Your Own Adventure books. He wrote them all under pennames to hide the fact that they are autobiographical.Every Saturday morning Grandpa...
Every Saturday morning Grandpa Walt found himself babysitting his three grandchildren...all boys. The kids always wanted to play ''war,'' and Grandpa somehow always got coaxed into the game.His daughter came to pick up the kids early one Saturday and witnessed Grandpa take a fake shot as Jason pointed a toy gun and yelled, "Bang!''
Grandpa slumped to the floor and stayed there motionless. The daughter rushed over to see if he was all right. Grandpa opened one eye and whispered, ''Sh-h-h, I always do this. It's the only chance I get to rest.''
Steven Spielberg was busy disc...
Steven Spielberg was busy discussing his new action adventure about famous classical composers. Bruce Willis, Sylvester Stallone and Arnold Schwarzenegger were in the room."Who do you want to play?" Spielberg asked Bruce Willis. "I've always been a big fan of Chopin," said Bruce. "I'll play him."
"And you, Sylvester?" asked Spielberg. "Mozart's the one for me!" said Sly.
"And what about you?" Spielberg asked Arnold Schwarzenegger.
"I'll be Bach," said Arnie.
Why Helicopters are Better than Women
1. A helicopter will kill you quickly . . . a woman takesher time.
2. Helicopters can be turned on by a flick of a switch.
3. A helicopter does not get mad if you 'touch and go.'
4. A helicopter does not object to a preflight inspection.
5. Helicopters come with manuals.
6. Helicopters have strict weight and balance limits.
7. You can fly a helicopter any time of the month.
8. Helicopters don't come with in-laws.
9. Helicopters don't whine unless something is really
wrong.
10. Helicopters don't care about how many other helicopters
you have flown.
11. When flying, you and your helicopter both arrive at the
same time.
12. Helicopters don't mind if you look at other helicopters,
or if you buy helicopter magazines.
13. It's OK to use tie-downs on your helicopter.
Two piggies walk into a bar, g...
Two piggies walk into a bar, get drunk and ask, "Where's the bathroom?"The bartender points to the door and they rush in.
Two more piggies walk into a bar. They soon get drunk and they ask, "Where's the bathroom?"
The bartender points to the door and they rush in.
One piggy walks into a bar. He gets drunk out of his mind and then heads for the exit.
"Hey, buddy! Do you want know where the bathroom is?" asks the bartender.
"No thanks," the piggy slurs, "I always go WEEWEEWEE all the way home!"
Strange...
A lawyer named Strange died, and his friend asked the tombstone maker to inscribe on his tombstone, "Here lies Strange, an honest man, and a lawyer."
The inscriber insisted that such an inscription would be confusing, for passersby would tend to think that three men were buried under the stone.
However he suggested an alternative: He would inscribe, "Here lies a man who was both honest and a lawyer.
"That way, whenever anyone walked by the tombstone and read it, they would be certain to remark: "That's Strange!"
“The debate about unm...
“The debate about unmanned aircraft strikes just keeps droning on.”
Chuck Norris once wrestled a b...
Chuck Norris once wrestled a bear, an alligator, and a mountain lion all at once. He won by tying them together with an anaconda.Clean jokes-Oldest lady
She's lost it all - is completely bald!
Lawyer's Revenge
A lawyer's dog, running about unleashed, beelines for the local butcher shop and steals a roast off the counter.
The butcher goes to the lawyer's office and asks, "if a dog, running unleashed, steals a piece of meat from my store, do I have a right to demand payment for the meat from the dog's owner?" "Absolutely," the lawyer responded.
The butcher immediately shot back, "Good! You owe me $7.99 for the roast your dog stole from me this morning."
The lawyer, without a word, writes the butcher a check for $7.99. A few days later, the butcher, browsing through his mail, finds an envelope from the lawyer.
The contents read
"Consultation: $25.00."
Chuck Norris can do a wheelie ...
Chuck Norris can do a wheelie on a unicycle.When Bruce Banner gets mad, he...
When Bruce Banner gets mad, he turns into the Hulk. When the Hulk gets mad, he turns into Chuck Norris.Scary Collection 61
A witch joke
What is the witches motto?
We came, we saw, we conjured!
A witch joke
What do you call a nervous witch?
A twitch!
A witch joke
How do witches on broomsticks drink their tea?
Out of flying saucers!
A witch joke
What do you call a witches motor bike?
A baaaarrrroooooooommmm stick!
A witch joke
How can you tell if a witch has a glass eye?
When it comes out in conversation!
A witch joke
What happens to a witch when she loses her temper when riding her broom?
She flies off the handle!
A witch joke
What happened when the old witch went to see a funny film?
The manager told her to cut the cackle!
