Jokes of the day for Sunday, 11 January 2026
| Funny jokes, funny photo and funny video collected from the internet on Sunday, 11 January 2026 |
Herd of cows...
A young man visiting a dude ranch wanted to be "macho," so he went out walking with one of the hired hands. As they were walking through the barnyard, the visitor tried starting a conversation: "Say, look at that big bunch of cows."
The hired hand replied, "Not 'bunch,' but 'herd.' "
"Heard what?"
"Herd of cows."
"Sure, I've heard of cows. There's a big bunch of 'em right over there."
One night, as a couple lay ...
One night, as a couple lay down for bed, the husband gently tapped his wife on the shoulder and started rubbing her arm. His wife turned over and said, "I'm sorry honey, I've got a gynecologist appointment tomorrow and I want to stay fresh." Her husband, rejected, turned over and tried to sleep. A few minutes later, he rolled back over and tapped his wife again. This time he whispered in her ear, "Do you have a dentist appointment tomorrow too?"
Chuck Norris graduated from sc...
Chuck Norris graduated from school with a degree in Chuck Norris.Fun at the zoo!
Little Johnny wanted to go to the zoo and pestered his parents for days. Finally his mother talked his reluctant father into taking him.
"So how was it?" his mother asked when they returned home.
"Great," Little Johnny replied.
"Did you and your father have a good time?" asked his mother.
"Yeah, Daddy especially liked it," exclaimed Little Johnny excitedly, especially when one of the animals came home at 30 to 1!"
I was out walking with my 4 ye...
I was out walking with my 4 year old daughter. She picked up something off the ground and started to put it in her mouth. I took the item away from her and I asked her not to do that."Why?" my daughter asked.
"Because it's been laying outside, you don't know where it's been, it's dirty and probably has germs" I replied.
At this point, my daughter looked at me with total admiration and asked, "Wow! How do you know all this stuff?"
"Uh," I was thinking quickly, "All moms know this stuff. It's on the Mommy Test. You have to know it, or they don't let you be a Mommy." We walked along in silence for 2 or 3 minutes, but she was evidently pondering this new information.
"OH...I get it!" she beamed, "So if you don't pass the test you have to be the daddy."
"Exactly" I replied back with a big smile on my face and joy in my heart.
Fast birthday party
My wife and I just celebrated her 32nd birthday yesterday.
It was the fastest birthday party we’ve ever had.
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If you don't get it, read it out loud ... several times if needed.
Faith
Two nuns were driving down a country road when they ran out of gas. They walked to a farmhouse and a farmer gave them some gasoline; but the only container he had was an old bedpan. The nuns were happy to take whatever they were offered and returned to their car. As they were pouring the gasoline from the bedpan into the tank of their car, a minister drove by. He stopped, rolled down his window and said, "Excuse me, sisters. I'm not of your religion, but I couldn't help admiring your faith....!" Kumail Nanjiani: Hogwarts Curriculum
Heres my only thing with Harry Potter... They go to this school, and they take classes like Defense Against the Dark Arts and Potions and Divination, but they should be taking math also, right? Why are there no math teachers at Hogwarts? Or history, or geography? Theyre getting tested on Care of Magical Creatures -- never heard of the Holocaust. Best Classroom April Fools Prank EVER
Best Classroom April Fools Prank EVER 16 Jokes to celebrate Hug an Australian Day!
April 26th is Hug an Australian Day! Find jokes about Australia and Australians: 1.Q: Why are murders in Tasmania so hard to solve?
A: Because there are no dental records and all the DNA matches.
2.A British man is visiting Australia. The customs agent asks him, “Do you have a criminal record?” The British man replies, “I didn’t think you needed one to get into Australia anymore.”
3.Q: If someone who speaks two languages is bilingual, and someone who speaks many languages is multilingual, then what do you call someone who speaks one language?
A: Australian!
4.Q: How many Aussies does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: Three. One to hold the bulb and two to turn the ladder.
5.Q: What do you call an Aussie in the finals of the World Cup?
A: The referee.
6.Q: What do you call a farting Aussie?
A: Ned Smelly
7.Q: What's the difference between Cinderella and Melbourne FC?
A: Cinderella wanted to get to the ball
8.An Aussie said, “Take away your snow capped mountains, culture, and good food, and what would New Zealand be?”
The kiwi answered, “Australia”.
9.Q: What do you call an Aussie with 100 girlfriends?
A: A farmer
10.Q: Why is Australia such a dry country?
A: We don't have a king or queen to reign on it.
11.Two Aussies are drinking together. One says, “When I die, will you promise to pour a beer on my grave?”
The other replies, “No worries mate, but I’ll have to pass it through my kidneys first.”
12.Q: Why did Tasmanians evolve to grow two heads?
A: So they can have an intelligent conversation when they visit the mainland!
13.Q: Where can someone visit for 2 hours in Melbourne.
A: St Kilda via Punt Road.
14.Q: Want to hear a joke about the construction industry in Australia?
A: Too bad, they're still working on it!
15.Q: How do you know when you're a hipster bogan?
A: When your coffee machine costs more than your washing machine.
16.Here's something you didn't know...Your taxi driver was a surgeon before arriving in Australia.
#HuganAustralianDay
At The End of Your Rope?
There were eleven people hanging onto a rope that came down from a plane. Ten were blonde, and one was a brunette. They all decided that one person should get off because if they didn't, then the rope would break and everyone would die. No one could decide who should go, so finally the brunette said, "I'll get off." After a really touching speech from the brunette saying she would get off, all of the blondes started clapping. (Problem solved.)
Wonders of Water
If you’re feeling down, try drinking a pint of water before going to bed.
It’ll give you a reason to get up in the morning.
The very high health care costs
Health care costs are rising uncontrollably across the world. In America, taxes have been on the rise just to pay for them. In England, they have begun rationing health care services and in some cases they have waiting lists for services just to reduce costs even more. In fact, they now have a nine month waiting list for abortions.
