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Short jokes - funny one liners (11521 to 11560)Short funny jokes. These jokes are less 300 chars long, so easy to remember! These are the jokes listed 11521 to 11560. |
The comedy about the frozen Pe...
The comedy about the frozen Persian was quite Farsicle.#joke #short
Chuck Norris was once in a kni...
Chuck Norris was once in a knife fight. The knife lost.#joke #short #chuck-norris
Ted Alexandro: Personal Trainer
My sisters a personal trainer. Thats a tough job. I dont think I can do that. You gotta help people with their fitness goals. Can you help me define my abs? Yeah -- disgusting, sloppy, gelatinous. #joke #short
You can tell an absentminded p...
You can tell an absentminded painter because he has a left palette.#joke #short
How many roundhouse kicks does...
How many roundhouse kicks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? Just one. From Chuck Norris.#joke #short #chuck-norris
Did you here about the guy who...
Did you here about the guy who lost his whole left side?He's alright now!
#joke #short
If you get sick on a bus, just...
If you get sick on a bus, just blame your fellow passin' germs.#joke #short
Chuck Norris is what Willis wa...
Chuck Norris is what Willis was talking about.#joke #short #chuck-norris
William Wilson: Hot Brick Church
We just had an old brick church. Its like a barbeque pit, just hot -- HOT. Everybody in theres fanning. Old ladies got them old funeral parlor fans, they just fanning. Im sweating. And the preacher, If you dont straighten out, youre going to hell! Im like, Well, what is this? Practice?Special childrens rate...
A little child was in church for the first time and watched as the ushers passed the offering plates.
When they neared the pew where he sat, the youngster said in a little voice loud enough for everyone to hear:
"Don't pay for me, Daddy. I'm under five."
#joke #short
"Paris Hilton and Nicole ...
"Paris Hilton and Nicole Ritchie have settled their dispute. They say that their two hearts combined make one. Their two brains also combined to make one."--Jay Leno
#joke #short
The Advil Commandments
So Moses is up on Mount Sinai and he says to God, "God, do I have a pounding headache!"
And God says, "Here, take these two tablets."
#joke #short
After he spent too long in a s...
After he spent too long in a steam room, they called him A Sauna been Laid in.#joke #short
Contrary to popular belief the...
Contrary to popular belief the Lottery numbers are not random. They are just the number of people Chuck Norris killed that given day.#joke #short #chuck-norris
Dan St. Germain: Too Lazy to Kill
I could never be a serial killer because Im way too lazy to follow a pattern. I used to murder women that look like Grandmother but now -- mostly delivery men. #joke #short
The Shopping Criminal
It was Christmas and the judge was in a merry mood as he asked the prisoner,"What are you charged with?" "Doing my Christmas shopping early", replied the defendant.
"That's no offense", said the judge. "How early were you doing this shopping?"
"Before the store opened."
#joke #short #christmas
Be a lumberjack. Saw t...
Be a lumberjack. Saw the world.#joke #short
The sun sets from fear of Chuc...
The sun sets from fear of Chuck Norris.#joke #short #chuck-norris
Judge: Haven’t I seen you befo...
Judge: Haven’t I seen you before?Man: Yes, Your Honor. I taught your daughter how to play the drums.
Judge: Twenty years!
#joke #short
Want high-class accommodation?...
Want high-class accommodation? Stay in a hautel.#joke #short
The First Law of Thermodynamic...
The First Law of Thermodynamics states that energy can neither be created nor destroyed... unless it meets Chuck Norris.#joke #short #chuck-norris
Behind every successful man, t...
Behind every successful man, there is a woman. Behind every dead man, there is Chuck Norris.#joke #short #chuck-norris
I have a famous beer belly. So...
I have a famous beer belly. Someone even wrote a novel about it: The Pilsners of the Girth.When taking the SAT, write "Ch...
When taking the SAT, write "Chuck Norris" for every answer. You will score over 8000.#joke #short #chuck-norris
Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac...
Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.Church Every Sunday?
Son: "Dad, did you go to Church when you were little?" Dad: "Yes son, every single Sunday."
Son: "I thought so. Bet it won't do me any good either."
#joke #short
Did the inventor of the polygr...
Did the inventor of the polygraph lie sense his product?#joke #short
Chuck Norris feels that brass ...
Chuck Norris feels that brass knuckles should be allowed in the fight to cure diabetes.#joke #short #chuck-norris
Derrick Cameron: White People on Vacation
Derrick, Im going to get tan this summer; Im going to get dark. Oh, not so dark you cant get a job, but dark enough?#joke #short
Then there's the woman w...
Then there's the woman who goes to the dentist. As he leans over to begin working on her, she grabs his crotch.The dentist says, "Madam, I believe you've got a hold of my privates."
The woman replies, "Yes. Now, we're going to be careful not to hurt each other, aren't we."
#joke #short
Chuck Norris can hit you so ha...
Chuck Norris can hit you so hard that he can actually alter your DNA. Decades from now your descendants will occasionally clutch their heads and yell "What The Hell was That?"#joke #short #chuck-norris
Sue Murphy: Yearly Bathing Suit Shopping
I buy a bathing suit every year. Why? Because I cant get enough of the act of humiliation, ladies and gentleman. Generally, guys, do you buy bathing suits every year? No, of course not. Youre guys. You cut off a pair of slacks, call it summer.#joke #short
