The best jokes (1936 to 1950)The best jokes rated by site visitors. Top rated jokes. These are the best jokes rated 1936 to 1950. NOTE jokes sometimes might seem not to be in order. Due to better performance joke top list is refreshed only once daily. |
Oh Those Greek Gods
Question: What's the name of the Greek god of humor?
Answer: Hilarios.
World Voice Day Jokes
Today is World Voice Day! Find a joke about it!
If a pig loses its voice…
Is it disgruntled?
I lost my voice today.
I can't tell you how annoying it is.
How many voice actors does it take to change a light bulb?
Six. One to do it, and five to say, “I was offered that job!”
What do you call a narrator's favourite pair of pants?
Long story shorts.
#worldvoiceday
International Day for Monuments and Sites/World Heritage Day jokes
Today is International Day for Monuments and Sites (World Heritage Day)! Find a joke about it!
Why the great pyramids are in Egypt?
Because they were too heavy to carry of to the British museum.
Why was Cleopatra angry?
She was on her pyramid.
I was offered a job building Egyptian tombs
Turned out to be a pyramid scheme
I'm surprised the tower of Pisa hasn't fallen over during the pandemic
Without all those tourists helping hold it up.
Two Americans are visiting Rome Colosseum
"Look at it. How huge and majestic it is."
"Just imagine how great it'll be when they finish building it."
Lotsa Amore
Just reading that there's a small Island off the coast of Italy with 5 million Sicilian people.
That's the biggest number I've ever heard.
Jokes about Mexicans to celebrate Cinco de Mayo
Cinco de Mayo, (Spanish: “Fifth of May”), also called Anniversary of the Battle of Puebla is holiday celebrated in parts of Mexico and the United States
What do you call a Mexican with a rubber toe?
Roberto!
What do you call a Mexican with a lowered car?
Carlos!
What do you call a Mexican drowning in mayonnaise?
Sinko De Mayo.
What do you call 4 Mexicans in quicksand?
Cuatro, sink-o.
What do you call a mexican with a bottle of vermouth?
A dry Martinez.
What do you get when you cross Speedy Gonzales with a country singer?
Arriba McEntire.
What do you call two mexicans playing basketball?
Juan on Juan.
Why do Mexicans never cross the border in groups of three?
Because there is no tres-passing.
Why did the Mexican sign up for Tinder?
For a Juan night stand.
What do you call a Mexican jedi apprentice?
Pada Juan.
Happy Friday with fresh new jokes
I poured root beer in a square glass.Now I just have beer.
Why can’t you explain puns to kleptomaniacs?
They always take things literally.
A traveling salesman offered me a deal on a coffin
I told him that's the last thing I need
Yesterday I saw a guy spill all his Scrabble letters on the road.
I asked him, “What’s the word on the street?"
I got my daughter a fridge for her birthday.
I can’t wait to see her face light up when she opens it.
Yesterday, I farted in the Apple Store and everyone got upset at me.
It’s not my fault they don’t have Windows…
San Francisco isn't just funny,
It's hill areas.
Mobius strip
A Mobius strip walks into a bar crying. The bartender says: what's wrong buddy?The Mobius strip replies:
Oh, where do I even begin
Toilet Jokes Which Don't Stink
Last week, I ran out of toilet paper and started using old newspapers instead.
All I can say is that The Times are really rough.
Do you know the difference between toilet paper and a shower curtain?
Ah, so it’s you who’s been making a mess of my bathroom!
Do you know the difference between toilet paper and a shower curtain?
Ah, so it’s you who’s been making a mess of my bathroom!
Why was Eeyore down the toilet?
Because he was looking for Pooh!
Why did the toilet roll down the hill?
To get to the bottom!
Did you hear about the film ‘Constipated’?
It never came out!
There are two reasons you shouldn’t drink from the toilet.
Number one and number two!
Doctor, doctor! I think I have a bladder infection!
I see urine trouble!
Why did three witches call in the plumber?
Hubble bubble, toilet trouble!
Why can’t you hear a Pterodactyl using the bathroom?
Because the ‘P’ is silent.
I bought an Abba-branded toilet last week.
What a loo!
What did the poo say to the fart?
You blow me away!
Who saves the world by hanging out in the toilet?
Flush Gordon
What’s brown and sounds like a bell?
Dung!
Why didn’t the toilet paper make it across the road?
It got stuck in a crack.
World Older Persons Day Jokes
On 1st October we recognize the International Day of Older Persons! Here are some jokes to mark the occasion:
An old woman is sitting at a bar when an older gentleman sits down beside her.
"So," he says, "Do I come here often?"
What is a prize old people can win for aging?
Atrophy.
I used to know a couple who grew fruit trees together.
They lived to a ripe old age.
What’s the best part of old age?
That it doesn’t last very long.
These are not gray hairs! They are
wisdom highlights.
Which underwear brand do seniors love best?
It Depends.
Old age makes us great multitaskers.
I can sneeze and pee at the same time!
What’s the secret to having a smoking hot body as a senior?
Cremation.
One benefit of old age is that your secrets are always safe with your friends …
because they can’t remember them!
Age is an issue of mind over matter.
If you don’t mind getting older, then it really doesn’t matter.
Why do old people love English muffins so much?
All the nooks and grannies.
How is the moon like dentures?
Both come out at night.
Now that I’ve gotten older, everything’s finally starting to click for me.
My knees, my back, my neck …
I’ve decided: Whatever age I am is the new 30!
What goes up but never comes down?
Your age.
I called the incontinence hotline recently.
They asked if I could hold.
Of all your children, the only one who won’t grow up and move away is
your husband.
Thank You, Student Loans
Thank you, student loan, for helping me through college...
I don't think I can ever repay you.
Ever See A Catfish
Tom: Did you ever see a catfish?
Joe: Sure!
Tom: How did it hold the rod?
