Jokes of the day for Friday, 21 March 2025
| Funny jokes, funny photo and funny video collected from the internet on Friday, 21 March 2025 |
A Wish Gone Wrong
A genie granted me one wish, so I said, "I just want to be happy."
Now I'm living in a cottage with 6 dwarves and working in a mine.
Little Johnny In Class
A teacher cautiously approaches the subject of sex education with her fourth grade class because she realizes Little Johnny's propensity for sexual innuendo. But Johnny remains attentive throughout the entire lecture.Finally, towards the end of the lesson, the teacher asks for examples of sex education from the class.One little boy raises his hand, 'I saw a bird in her nest with some eggs.''Very good, William,' cooed the teacher.'My mommy had a baby,' said little Esther. 'Oh, that's nice,' replied the teacher.Finally, little Johnny raises his hand. With much fear and trepidation, the teacher calls on him.'I was watchin' TV yesterday, and I saw the Lone Ranger. He was surrounded by hundreds and hundreds of Indians. And they all attacked at one time. And he killed every one of them with his two guns.'The teacher was relieved but puzzled, 'And what does that have to do with sex education, Johnny?''It'll teach those Indians not to 'screw' with the Lone Ranger.'The Husband Store – Still True
A store that sells new husbands has opened in Melbourne , where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates:
You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors and the value of the products increase as the shopper ascends the flights. The shopper may choose any item from a particular floor, or may choose to go up to the next floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building!
So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband.
On the first floor the sign on the door reads:
Floor 1 - These men Have Jobs
She is intrigued, but continues to the second floor, where the sign reads:
Floor 2 - These men Have Jobs and Love Kids.
'That's nice,' she thinks, 'but I want more.'
So she continues upward. The third floor sign reads:
Floor 3 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, and are Extremely Good Looking.
'Wow,' she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.
She goes to the fourth floor and the sign reads:
Floor 4 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Good Looking and Help With Housework. 'Oh, mercy me!' she exclaims, 'I can hardly stand it!'
Still, she goes to the fifth floor and the sign reads:
Floor 5 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Gorgeous, Help with Housework, and Have a Strong Romantic Streak.
She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor , where the sign reads:
Floor 6 - You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store.
PLEASE NOTE:
To avoid gender bias charges, the store's owner opened a New Wives store just across the street.
The first floor has wives that love sex.
The second floor has wives that love sex and have money and like beer
The third, fourth, fifth & sixth floors have never been visited.
Kyle Kinane: This Is America
This is America. It is my God given right to be loudly opinionated about something I am completely ignorant of. Daniel Tosh: Millionaire Game Show
Id like a game show with millionaires on it, and they have to play with their own money, and they cant win money, they can only lose til one them goes complete broke, and the shows called Ha Ha, Now Youre Poor. Little Angel?
Little Johnny's new baby brother was screaming up a storm.
Johnny asked his mom, “Where’d he come from?â€
“He came from heaven, Johnny.â€
“Wow! I can see why they threw him out!â€
This joke was reprinted from "Laugh Yourself Healthy" by Charles and Frances Hunter, with permission of Strang Communications. Copyright 2008. All rights reserved.
What Nationality Were Adam and Eve?
A Briton, a Frenchman and a Russian are viewing a painting of Adam and Eve frolicking in the Garden of Eden. "Look at their reserve, their calm," muses the Brit. "They must be British." "Nonsense," the Frenchman disagrees. "They're naked, and so beautiful. Clearly, they are French." "No clothes, no shelter," the Russian points out, "they have only an apple to eat, and they're being told this is paradise. They are Russian." Honey Pie
After a nice dinner the two couples got up from the table. The ladies went into the kitchen and the men went into the family room.
One of the gents said to the other, "I think it is so wonderful how you call your wife, "honey pie" and "sweet pea", and "sugar" all the time.
The other gent said, "Well to tell you the truth, four years ago, I forget her name."
D.L. Hughley: Police Following You
You ever have the police follow you so long, you get suspicious of your damn self? Maybe I did kill them people. Im a go ahead and turn myself in. A very young couple exhibiting...
A very young couple exhibiting signs of extreme nervousness timidly approached the check-in desk of a large Manhattan hotel. "Good evening, sir," said the official behind the desk, favouring the young man with a perceptive wink. "Suite 16?"
"Oh, no!" the young man responded quickly. "She's eighteen."
35 New Halloween jokes from 2023
What's a vampire's favorite fruit?
A blood orange or Nec-tarines?
Where do mummies go if they want to swim?
The Dead Sea!
Why don't vampires eat cows?
They don't like stakes.
Who did Frankenstein’s monster bring to prom?
His ghoulfriend.
Why didn't the police arrest the zombie?
He couldn't be taken alive.
How do ghosts drink their coffee?
With scream and sugar.
How many real vampires are there?
None. Unless you count Dracula.
What's a ghost's favorite dessert?
Ice scream sandwich.
Why did the ghost quit his job?
They kept making him work the graveyard shift.
Tired of new jokes? We have big collection of older Halloween jokes
Why do witches wear name tags?
To tell which witch is which.
How do skeletons start their cars?
With skeleton keys.
What did one casket say to the sick casket?
Is that you coughin'?
What did one casket say to the other casket?
Is that you, coffin?
Why don't ghosts take showers?
They only like boo-ble baths.
Why did Dracula go to art school?
He wanted to learn how to draw blood.
How do monsters like their eggs?
Terri-fried.
What did the corpse's mom do when she got mad at him?
She grounded him.
What kind of ship does Dracula have?
A blood vessel.
What happened to the guy who couldn't keep up payments to his exorcist?
He was repossessed.
What do you call two witches living together?
Broommates.
Why didn't the mom let the little witch go trick or treating with her friends?
She was ex-spelled from school.
What kind of dessert does a monster like?
I-scream!
Why don't monsters eat popcorn with their fingers?
They eat fingers separately.
When do zombies finish trick or treating?
When they are dead tired.
Where do movie stars go on Halloween?
Mali-boo.
Who does a mummy take on a date?
Any girl he can dig up.
What does a zombie wear to make their eyes pop?
Ma-scare-a!
He only had one pupil!
What kind of car does Frankenstein drive on Halloween night?
A monster truck.
What does a vampire never order at a restaurant?
A stake sandwich.
Why wouldn’t Dracula’s kids laugh at his jokes?
Because they all sucked.
Who are some of the werewolves' cousins?
The whatwolves and the whenwolves.
Character Recognition and the Secret Service
Donald Trump is walking out of the White House and heading toward his limo when an assassin steps forward and aims a gun.
A secret service agent, new on the job, shouts, “Mickey Mouse!”
This startles the would-be assassin, and he is captured.
Later, the secret service agent’s supervisor takes him aside and asks,
“What in the hell made you shout Mickey Mouse?”
(Wait for it....)
Blushing, the agent replies, “I got nervous. I meant to shout, “Donald duck!”
